Please, do not see 'Meet the Spartans'.

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Movie Reviews - October 2007

Please, do not see 'Meet the Spartans'.

October 21st 2007 09:10

So a new entry to the Epic Movie/Date Movie/Oh God Why Did I Pay To See This series of movies is being released. It's a 300 parody, because apparently 'THIS! IS! SPPPAARRTTTAAAA!' wasn't already funny. The trailer's been released on Rotten Tomatoes and....well, if I went into detail I'd wear out the 'f' key on my keyboard. They have a dance-off and someone makes reference to "getting served", and then...Britney Spears is.....shit, I can't go on. The point is, it's your duty to not watch this movie, because the only reason these guys are allowed to keep making their horrible, horrible movies is because they keep turning a profit.

If you really want a 300 parody....well, it's hard to think of a movie that would be easier to parody than this one. The scenes basically re-write themselves....

Messenger: This is blasphemy! This is madness!
Leonidas: Madness? THIS! IS! SPPPAAARRTTTTTTAAAAAAAA!!!!
Messenger:........
Leonidas:............
Messenger:.....alright, so I should....go back and tell Xerxes you refuse?
Leonidas: Yeah, that would be great, thanks.

Leonidas: Spartans! Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!
Spartan: And what if we win?
Leonidas:.....well I suppose we can go out for pizza or something. I don't know, I haven't really thought ahead that much.

Aside from my own admittedly poor attempts at comedy, we get fun stuff like this:
Really Long Link

And the literally hundreds of memes floating around. More and more these comedy movies seem to mistake imitation for parody, repeating events from movies exactly as they appeared originally in the vain hope this is somehow funny, even though all logic seems to dictate this wouldn't be the case.

Please, people. Spend your money on movies that deserve it. And don't just listen to me, do a little research before you watch your movie. Check Rotten Tomatoes, imdb, whatever else. Don't go in blind or think a movie 'looks like a laugh', because you might end up contributing to the profit of a movie that really, really deserves to fail, lest the entire movie industry suffer.

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Comments

22 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Tracy

October 21st 2007 10:28

Movies and Life

Sounds dreadful, don't think I'll see it!!

Comment by Damo

October 21st 2007 11:34

300 was bad enough.
Even a reedit would make it funny.

Comment by James Rickard

October 21st 2007 17:08

unlucky_ fishermen.com
Angling Fish
Check this out...

Thanks for the warning!!!!!!!!

Comment by Anonymous

January 21st 2008 08:48

OK Date & Epic movie were crap...
But this actually looks funny... "OMFG I just watched the 1min 15s trailer & YOU MUST NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE!!!!!"
Get a life. I loved the britney bit

although I even thought your lines were funny so maybe i'm not the best judge

Comment by Anonymous

January 21st 2008 13:53

I seriously wanted to die while watching epic movie. Date movie had some ok bits but still, it's not the kind of thing I want to support.

Although, I couldn't help finding the britney spears part quite funny. But I have a hunch it's the only funny part of the whiole thing. I would really like to find out if that's true but I still think I should avoid giving these atrocities money.

Comment by Anonymous

January 21st 2008 13:53

Comment by Anonymous

January 21st 2008 21:52

Farts.

Also, Dicks.

Comment by Anonymous

January 22nd 2008 18:38

Taking bets Britney's fans are going to start whining about how she's portrayed in this movie?

Comment by Anonymous

February 22nd 2008 11:28

qq more, just because you arn't getting teh money!

Comment by Anonymous

February 27th 2008 08:34

Damn u guys suck u havnt seen a decent movie until you have watched this
this movie is awesome

Comment by Anonymous

February 29th 2008 01:51

hahaha sooooo funny! i was in tears! u guys really need to lighten up ey, get a sense of humour!..i love random silly stuff, thats the point of that movie. to get a good laugh..dnt tell ppl not to watch it jus coz u dont like it! they might!..obviously u can tell by the trailer its not a serious thriller or anything...haha

Comment by skelliot

March 1st 2008 09:14

What really annoyed and angered me about this film, appart from it being the worst film i have EVER EVER EVER EVER SEEN!, is that they seemed to find it funny to completely bag out african american culture ASWELL as homosexual culture. Almost every scene had a line saying "fo shizzle" or a battle seen that was a break dance or men skipping to i will survive. I have never ever ever in my whole life felt so strongly about a film (good or bad) that I actively went to a website to say how shit it was, also, I have NEVER walked out of a film before until i saw this movie...

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ZEUS DO NOT SEE THIS FILM!... You will just feel embarrassed you spent the cash on it...SERIOUSLY I AM NOT JOKING...i cannot stress this enough.. IT IS SO BAD!..BAAAAAAAAAAAD.

Ok im done..Thanks.

Comment by Anonymous

March 2nd 2008 08:10

its not as bad as u say it is u should go watch it i did and it was good so stop giving it bad publicity

Comment by Skelliot

March 2nd 2008 08:12

Its fairly obvious i did see it. I walked out towards the end tho. its a horrible film don't lie. It doesn't deserve peoples money.

Comment by Anonymous

March 11th 2008 03:31

This is the funnist movie ever go and see it you guys sux it he best mockery of 300 i have ever seen btw u movie review who gave this a bad rating u guys can go to hell.

Comment by skelliot

March 11th 2008 06:07

I would prefer to go to hell than watch this horrible excuse for a movie again.

Comment by Anonymous

March 13th 2008 06:34

why the fuck does everyone feel that they need to pick to pieces all forms of entertainment these days. Admittedly this movie may not be to some people's tastses (including yours), but there are others who will find this entertaining. Please leave your "high-brow humour snobbery" to yourself and leave others to decide for themselves.

Comment by skelliot

March 13th 2008 06:56

Why the crap are you on a MOVIE REVIEW WEB SITE! These web sites are made for this sort of thing. if you don't like it. Go away and watch more shitty movies. It's not to do with high brow humour snobbery, it's more to do with the fact that Meet The Spartans wasn't bloody funny at all! It sucked!

Why would you come post here if you liked it? You obviously have no good taste in comedy what so ever. This movie was shit. SHIIIIIIIIIIIT. Deal with it. This is a movie review web site. If you don't want opinions go cry in a corner and don't post here.

The End

Comment by Harry

March 13th 2008 23:05

Sydney Diary
Personals
Brisbane Diarystar
Zoo Parent

I completely agree with Skelliot -- why are you here if not to read reviews of movies which will contain opinions! Otherwise you can read a quick plot summary on IMDB and go on your way..

Comment by Anonymous

April 20th 2008 00:31

Oh GOd Grow up people - i watched the previews of it and i thought it was funny

just tellin gpeople its crap let them find out for there selfs - just because you think its crap doesnt mean other people would think it is

Comment by _shadow

February 26th 2009 07:08

This was the funniest movie ever!!!!!! you have to watch it, it is the best
~~boring~~ .... nope
funny .... as hell!

Comment by _shadow

February 26th 2009 07:08

This was the funniest movie ever!!!!!! you have to watch it, it is the best
~~boring~~ .... nope
funny .... as hell!

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