Emily FinlayJessica Alba is going to great lengths to avoid me!
December 2nd 2007 08:56
I've come to the conclusion that Jessica Alba is purposely staring in a string of bad movies for the sole purpose of ending my obsession with her.
When I saw Sin Cityp, I was but a 17 year old lad, and couldn't help but find myself smitten by how ridiculously attractive Ms Alba is. And that was a hell of a film, but what has she been in since? She hasn't even made a cameo in a movie that was actually worth paying for! My continued crush has been fostered only by watching annual Nickelodeon Kid's Choice Awards! Let's have a look at her post-Sin career:
Fantastic Four- I actually saw this one. It was almost saved by how attracted I was to her. Almost. She gets naked in one scene, but shes invisible at the same time. Boo.
Into The Blue- Really attractive people wear little clothing. Yet it's apparently awful.
The Ten- Didn't even get an Australian release.
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer- Never saw it. More of the same, apparently.
Good Luck Chuck- This got, what, 3% on Rotten Tomatoes?
Awake- This has been getting awful, awful reviews. And looks appalling.
Whats coming up next for Ms Alba? The Eye, a remake of a Japanese horror film (these things never end well). Dammit Jessica, why don't you love me back? Why won't you star in a good film so I can go and watch it? WHY, ALBA, WHY?
When I saw Sin Cityp, I was but a 17 year old lad, and couldn't help but find myself smitten by how ridiculously attractive Ms Alba is. And that was a hell of a film, but what has she been in since? She hasn't even made a cameo in a movie that was actually worth paying for! My continued crush has been fostered only by watching annual Nickelodeon Kid's Choice Awards! Let's have a look at her post-Sin career:
Fantastic Four- I actually saw this one. It was almost saved by how attracted I was to her. Almost. She gets naked in one scene, but shes invisible at the same time. Boo.
Into The Blue- Really attractive people wear little clothing. Yet it's apparently awful.
The Ten- Didn't even get an Australian release.
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer- Never saw it. More of the same, apparently.
Good Luck Chuck- This got, what, 3% on Rotten Tomatoes?
Awake- This has been getting awful, awful reviews. And looks appalling.
Whats coming up next for Ms Alba? The Eye, a remake of a Japanese horror film (these things never end well). Dammit Jessica, why don't you love me back? Why won't you star in a good film so I can go and watch it? WHY, ALBA, WHY?
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Comment by Cibbuano
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
And yes, terrible movies!
Sorry, I'm no help with your plight!
Michaelie
Comment by Jickle
Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
Comment by Spennies
Record Reviews
The Dissident
Writing Comedy
Check my review of Awake at my top choice site. Where she doesn't make it a great movie when she is given the prized role, but this movie is worth a look the hot opening scene and the truly scary premise close to my heart, no pun intended.
Comment by Raoul Duke
Style of Eye
Jessica Biel is a much better actor ... Also, she's got bigger tits, and that speaks volumes.
But Ms. Alba does have a sensational ass.
And a very pretty face.
But Michaelie's right, she lacks a je ne sais quoi.
Jessica Biel hasn't made the best film choices either ...
Actually, this has given me a great idea for a debate topic ...